I Am Shiba.
Dedicated to momentary thoughts and musings of A Shiba Inu.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
And There Was Much Rejoicing!
Almost one month to the day, The Woman has finished painting the hallway.
The Shiba 500's can resume!!!
I Am Shiba. Nothing Beats A Good Run Through The House.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Today, The Woman took Belle and myself to our favorite little pet store to purchase our favorite treats. The store is oriented toward locally made treats as well as national brands, and while attached to our vet's office, carries the scientifically needed foods for animals with special needs.
There is a scale in the store.
Belle now weighs 19 pounds.
I weigh 29 (I have lost 2 pounds!)
We bought several types of treats that Belle and I just love, and as we walked to the counter, Belle quickly helped herself to a pig's ear that happened to be just in the right location for her to pick up and carry to the counter.
One has to admire a girl who knows what she wants.
There was a brief moment where all people were holding their breath because a young girl came running over to the both of us and grabbed both Belle and me together, smooshing our heads against one another, exclaiming how cute we both were, and proceeded to sit and pet both of us. The Humans resumed breathing when both of us were quite receptive to this young lady's advances, and proceeded to respond to her positively despite her overt advances.
Belle licked her face while I merely made my presence available for her touch. One must address the unwashed masses appropriately. As The Woman was standing behind us holding our favorite treats, one must behave appropriately in order to receive said treats upon returning home.
I Am Shiba. My Belly Is Full of Dried Fish and Dog Biscuits.
Friday, January 22, 2010
That Guy Lies and He Beats Us
This morning, everyone was running late, including us Shibas. We forgot to wake the people so that they could feed us in a timely fashion and then we could have our morning constitutional. However, as everyone overslept, chaos ensued as the two people ran around and we Shibas thought that obvious this was a game of some sort.
As The Woman was preparing us breakfast, That Guy comes up from the basement and says "I already fed them!" What?? We had our most perfect faces of Starving Shibas (Belle can be amazingly convincing- The Woman and That Guy are always such suckers when Belle gives her Starving Shiba look). So, The Woman, actually believed him and put the food away, and did not give us the breakfast that she started out to put into our bowls.
And what is worse, is that she felt not one ounce of guilt about the whole thing.
So while we are following everyone around the house, That Guy actually pushed me out of the bathroom so that he could take a shower. He pushed me out! The audacity!
We will get even with him someday.
I Am Shiba. I Believe in Second Breakfast.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Just A Brief Note of Caution
In this time of crisis, in Haiti, I would like to take a moment to warn people about sending their money to just any agency, particularly in the area of Animal Rescue. While the HSUS and PETA are already sending out their emails and claiming their support, be sure that the organization you choose to send your money to has a real reputation for saving the animals, working with the locals and the local community, and working with both pets and livestock. Given Haiti's poverty status, I am sure that there are lots of loose chickens in the streets as I write (although many might have been eaten by now).
Use your money toward supporting the Canine Search and Rescue Teams. For example, Tampa Bay's dogs are already en route.
The World Society for Protection of Animals is already present, They are veterinarians and volunteers who are well known for their coordinating efforts with locals in order to assist with both livestock rescue and pets.
At this time, I have not heard whether the Miami SPCA is going to be involved, but I can not imagine that they will be unaffected by this, given that they are one of the closest animal shelters to Haiti. Follow their website to see if they need assistance.
Remember, think global, act local. There is considerable controversy right now regarding some of our top animal protection agencies, and while we think that while organizations such as the Red Cross and Doctor's Without Borders use their donations as intended, many animal rights and rescue centers are not as favored in their administrative status.
Give wisely, and let us pray that both human and animal survive this terrible tragedy.
I Am Shiba. I Have Spoken.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The Woman Is Ruining My Life!
There are several spots which I claim as mine. Three are in the hallway so that I can survey the comings and goings of all household business. This is one of my many duties: I am the Gatekeeper, after all.
The Woman, however, has disrupted my life beyond Shiba comprehension.
She is painting the hallway and I am being banned from my normal hangouts. My routine is completely disrupted. I am surrounded by chaos.
My favorite corner is right outside the door to the office. It is the last spot to be painted and I will not be allowed to lie there until it has dried not just once, but twice! This is inexcusable. How can I guard when my post is being redecorated?
I Am Shiba. Fortunately, Latex Paint Washes Out of Shiba Fur.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
R. I. P. Shassi, January 6th, 2010
The Misanthropic Shiba
How does one say Good-bye to The One who Lead us so far?
How does one mourn the loss of The Leader in helping everyone to understand the misunderstood?
How does one say good-bye to a friend even though we never shared a moment together face to face, chased each other in a dog park, or ran loose down the street with our people chasing after us?
We shed our tears because Shassi was mortal like the rest of us. Something that no one likes to consider.
But to Shibas, she will always be immortal, the shining example of what we all should strive to be and become.
But to the Humans, she is a loss to the World of What Is Shiba.
I Am Shiba. We Will Miss You, Shassi.
Shrews hiding underneath the snow in the warmth of piles of leaves: 0
I Am Shiba. Ridding the World of Small Rodents One Day At A Time.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Sunday, January 03, 2010
AKC Restructuring Continues
The AKC As It Is Today
The Woman is on some kind of strange cleaning frenzy. It is strange because usually she just picks something up and moves it to another spot in the house, but now she is like washing things and making life inconvenient for me (again!) by destroying areas that I have intentionally packed with fur for my own comfort, and she has been removing it. It is quite disheartening.
But to summarize what I discussed yesterday, I have removed the Norwegian Elkhound from the Hound Group, combined the 4 Cocker Spaniels into one, and decided that the term "Working Dog" is a stupid category because let's face it, being a canine among you humanoids is work enough.
I did decide last night to remove the Baseji from the Hunting Group. That breed deserves better than to be tossed in with the redheaded stepchild Irish Setters and their colorful yet similar almost-identical Gordon Setter twin.
Today, we need to examine at those small yappy things in the category called "Toy." What ever possessed the AKC to classify dogs as "Toys?" We are not toys; we are living, breathing creatures of this earth no matter how many dogs Paris Hilton or other fashion victims use to match their wardrobe. And if you look at this mismash of dogs that share only height as their general reason for being tossed together. So while I would like to just call this classification, "The Yappy Things," I have been informed that I need to come up with something a little more dignified, such as "Dogs You Step On Without Noticing."
But today's big advancement is that I am announcing a new category to the AKC, and rearranging a number of breeds into this category. This category will be called "The Bully Breeds" which will have five major qualifications. The first is that it's face needs to look like it banged its nose into a wall one too many times. Second, it needs to be able to drool to where you just give them what you are eating in the hopes that they just go away before any of their saliva gets on you. Third, it needs to be larger than a Pekingese which definitely looks and acts like it walked into one too many walls but fails on the height and fur qualification. Fourth, the fur is short with the exception of the Tibetan Mastiff because it fits into the group because it can drool with the best of them. But fifth and most importantly, this is any breed of dog that causes you to walk on the other side of the street when you see it coming, particularly if you have a Shiba with you, because the Shiba will want to bully that breed. These are the dogs from the other side of the tracks, the ones with the bad reputations that every one freaks out about if they read an article about one even remotely coming into contact with a human being.
So, Mastiffs, Rottweilers, Boxers, American Staffordshire Terriers (seriously, when you think of a terrier, is this the breed that comes to mind?), Bulldogs, etc will all be placed into this category. It's an easy category to remember because unlike the title "Working Breed" which requires memorizing that the German Shepherd is actually a Herding Dog and not a Working Dog, this is the "Oh Shit" breed when you realize that there is one nearby loose in the dog park, attempting to breed with your cute Yorkshire Terrier because you didn't realize she was in heat. Not that 99% of these dogs deserve that reputation that they have gotten, but let's face it. If it looks like it could eat you, it probably can so into this category it goes.
But what about the Pug, everyone asks? Pugs also belong here because of their ability to disrupt an entire household's sleep cycle with just their snoring alone. People go psychotic without sleep, hence, Pugs can be placed in the Bully Breed category for just making their owners insane by merely sleeping on the couch.
It will take a body-suited judge to examine each animal as well as a very large arena to keep each one separated from each other (I need to check your Staffordshire Terrier's testicle. Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you). Maybe we could hire a few rappers to do the judging but either way, this new classification will place all the bad rep dogs into one category so the rest of us can work the show ring without worry.
I Am Shiba. Tomorrow: How Are Herding Dogs Not Working Dogs?
Saturday, January 02, 2010
A Message to the AKC
Examples of Breeds and Their Classifications
Now, I shall be addressing this issue in a manner of parts, otherwise The Woman will be spending the entire day typing and not tending to any of my daily needs. Plus, she is obsessing again about washing all the dog fur out of the house. Out with the old and get ready for the new has a whole different definition in our household.
Throughout my discussion of class distinctions and rearrangements, I shall be referring to the link above. Hopefully, by the time I am done, my comprehensive correct restructuring of the AKC breeds will be more helpful to all as one watches a dog show and realizes that Poodles are really alien mutants that exist to screw everything up and that while a Norwegian Elkhound is a "hound" per se, does anyone else beside me notice that every single hound had floppy ears, short fur and a long tail except that breed, which, if you notice, looks amazingly like (*gasp*) a Northern Breed or Spitz dog? How is it that this one breed is placed in the Hound category when it looks nothing like what it is competing against? People will tell me, well, it is used for hunting. Well, my response to you is that the Komondor and the Rottweiler is used for herding and yet, lo, there they are in the Working Category rather than the Herding. Are the Australian Shepherds just that afraid of competing against a Rottweiler? Heck, I have been beating up Rotties since the day I left my whelping box and trust me, let them get back to herding sheep with the Border collies.
And wait just one minute. Aren't we all Working dogs? In every breeds ancestry, hasn't it accomplished some type of task that makes it considered to be "a working breed?" There are 4, count them, 4 types of cocker spaniels. Seriously, when was the last time you saw a cocker spaniel somewhere other than at a groomers? These dogs may have worked in the past but again, the work of 99% of all cocker spaniels is to entertain their people and hang out at the house. Using their history of "past hunting experiences" does not today a Hunting dog make. So the AKC has taken in upon itself to say, we have working dogs, hunting dogs, herding dogs and then this classification is all those breeds that really don't make sense.
Well, with my assistance, it will make sense.
My first act is to pull the Norwegian Elkhound out of the Hunting Group, because to quote Sesame Street, "one of these breeds does not look like the others." I may be removing the Basenji as well; I have not yet made up my mind.
My second act is to remove the title "Working Group."
My third act for today will be to say, oh, heck with it. Put all the cocker spaniels in one category and let them battle it out. Few other breeds are divided just because of their color. That is a stupid reason; it just gives that breed more opportunity to win. So, if you are a breed that is merely shown under a particular category because of color, that is now eliminated. Deal with it if you are a black cocker spaniel and need to compete against a spotted one. I am sure your feelings will survive if a dog of a different color beats you at your own game.
I Am Shiba. Tune in tomorrow . . .