What They Learned The Hard Way

Apparently, there has been some discussion on Dogster and on the Inu Baka blog about what humans have learned about dogs the hard way. Allow me to point out that it hasn't been exactly easy for me to train any one in this household either and often times, I have had to use extreme measures to teach them life long lessons.

For example:

1. I might like turkey. I might like turkey drippings but giving me the whole pan to clean up is one of the seven deadly sins -- gluttony. After many carpet mistakes and late night outside emergencies, The People now know better.

2. The Cat is a Large Squirrel, no matter what those People say. I just can't help myself to not chase it.

3. I can say quite a bit with my eyes. Like when I want to go outside, I will look at the door and look at you. Um, hello. I am talking to you. If you choose to ignore me, I shall go to my favorite spot on the carpet and let you know that you missed my message.

4. Tying into this, I may not poo in my backyard because I think that this is distasteful but the living room carpet right next to the television is not part of the backyard.

5. On the continued subject of pooing, where and when I choose to poo is my decision and only my decision. It's not for you to get all upset about or exasperated because I did or I did not or I thought that the spot over there was better than here and then had to go back over here because maybe this spot really was better, or maybe not. As The People, it's not your job to get all concerned about this. It's my job to worry about when and where I will go.

6. I am a male dog. I need to read every email on the walk and leave a few for others. Cope.

7. Speaking of walks, the walk is a time for both of us to share each others company and enjoy whatever weather is happening. Wrong. The walks are all about me. I need to catch up on everything that is happening in my kingdom and this takes time. Don't think that this is all about power walking or your exercise program or anything like that. It's about me. And Belle seems to think it is about her too, but really, it's about me. She at least knows how to pee on command in the backyard while I look for the best of the neighborhood shrubberies to destroy.

8. A wise man once said to The Woman, if you live with your dog, your dog learns to live with you. That should be the motto of every household.

9. The best command in the world is Leave It. I understand this command perfectly. It applies to the flattened squirrel in the middle of the busy intersection to the insane yappy dog on the flexilead who thinks its his right to smell my butt. Leave It means walk away. Sometimes, I don't always know when to do this and rather than being jerked around on a chain, to hear those words and then followed by "Good Boy" and a nice pet, I can carry my tail high knowing that I did the right thing.

With dogs, like small children, just Keep It Simple.

10. No one is a perfect pet owner although some are better than others. Mine, even six years later, still require training. But the important thing to realize is that I am a dog, I am your dog, and although I may ignore you 90% of the time, I do like you.

11. Every dog is different so don't think that Belle is going to do something because I do it and vice versa. Belle thinks that the world revolves around her and she gets on the furniture. I don't get on the furniture and I know that the world revolves around me.

12. Fish oil and salmon are tasty and good for our coats so share that salmon that is sitting on the counter. You know you want us looking our best.



I Am Shiba. You Have To Be Patient With Your People.