I Am Shiba.

Dedicated to momentary thoughts and musings of A Shiba Inu.

Friday, November 06, 2009

Dungeons and Dragons, Shiba Style

Life is a game of Dungeons and Dragons. We have experiences that create knowledge and we build upon these experiences. Each experience gives us extra bonuses toward different traits of our being, and every now and then we gain a level based upon our ability to stay alive and learn from the experience points that we have accumulated.

Shibas would most likely fall into one of several warrior like classes. For example:

A Hunter: uses Range and Speed to its advantage
A Ninja: Stealth and Accuracy is key here
A Barbarian: Strength and sheer Will Power

I consider myself to be the Ninja while Belle-chan is more the Hunter.

Shiba's use of Dungeons and Dragons experience points is a pure art form. For example:

with every Shiba, there is the Participant's List of how many points you get for being aggressive toward another dog, physically scaring another dog, or winning a fight with another dog. A Shiba's list might look something like this:

Toy Poodle: 50 experience points (seriously, no challenge here)

The Pit Bull behind the Electric Fence: 150 experience points if you get the Pit Bull to the fence, 400 if the Pit Bull crosses the fence, 750 points if the Pit Bull goes back home because everyone is screaming bloody murder, 1000 points if you end up spitting out the Pit Bull's fur after the encounter is complete.

The Really Friendly Happy Go Lucky Labrador That Hangs Out in its Front Yard Playing with the Kids all day: 100 points if you distract him from the children but 200 points if you scare the Labrador so he runs and hides behind the children. 400 points if the Labrador does this when you are on the other side of the street far away because Happy Lab wants nothing to do with Ninja Shiba.

So on a walk, I can conceivably gain the following experience points:

50 points for scaring the Poodle
150 for getting the attention of the Pit Bull and peeing on a nearby tree that he can't reach
400 points because the Lab hides from me every time he sees me (and seriously, I really did not do anything that bad to him).

for a total of 600 experience points just doing a 20 minute walk.

This does not include bonus experience points such as getting dogs inside their homes upset, peeing on the neighbor's expensive shrubberies, stealing another dog's toy out of his yard- the list goes on. Then there are the experience points we gain within the house. For example:

Notifying The People that There is a Spider on the Floor Right There: 100 points
Barking Loudly when The Doorbell Rings to Let The People Know that The Doorbell is Ringing Because They May Not Have Heard It Ring: 100 points
Destroying the Very Expensive Indestructible Toy in Under 3 Minutes that Your Person's Mother Gave The Shiba Because She is Trying to Understand Why Someone Would Want This Breed of Dog: Priceless

So as the reader can see, The Shiba is constantly gaining experience points for skills that are natural to our ancient breed. And with each Shiba having a different class specialty, I gain points specific toward my ninja agility skills for theft of items while Belle-chan gains experience points in her Range Hunting Skills by barking at dogs 1/2 mile or more down the road.

So as one progresses through their day with their Shiba, realize that Our Day is consumed with the need to acquire experience points, and often, this involves considerable creativity on our part since normal standard behaviors give low points. It's just not good enough that Shibas can slip through doors and run outside (that is like 25 points). To gain experience points, you have to slip through Your Person's legs while They are carrying three bags of groceries with an opening that is only one 1/2 inch wide and make it to the end of the block in under 30 seconds with the bag of deli sliced roast beef that you stole on the way out. Those are the Talents that Give Shibas experience points.

I Am Shiba. The Shiba With The Most Experience Points in The End Wins!


Blogger Jen said...

That. Was. Awesome.

3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm.. so if the two shibas get together and plan a raid.. how do the experience points work? lets say the mob boss was The Man?

4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, I think the mob boss was the Toy Poodle named Sabrina.

4:45 PM  
Anonymous That Guy said...

If the boss mob is That Guy (the man), you're looking at a wipe.

Even their collars of +20 radiance won't help them.

11:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, Sabrina was Pitbull/Bull dog mix with nasty temper, who must have gotten away from someone's backyard and barking in front of my house. She really needs a chain link. I told the Wardens to pick her up and put her away next time she shows up in front of my house.

9:23 AM  
Blogger The Shiba said...


While I appreciate your input, I am asking you to enjoy my blog and discontinue your posts regarding your ongoing relationships with neighbors and authority figures. The Woman will continue to delete your posts in the future if you do not stop posting off topic, inappropriate, or condescending remarks to my other readers or myself.

Let It Be Written. Let It Be Done.

Cortez Squirrelsbane Shiba-san

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fine, I'll not post in YOUR blog however, you cannot restrict my First Ammendment Constitutional Right where I post else where.

I don't know what YOUR perception of the "authority"is, but If someone doesn't have legal right over you (i.e. guardian, parents, conservator etc..), then he/she is NOT an authority. Ugly pit-bull with bad behaviors barking in front of my house to threaten me hardly seems like the kind of things any normal "authority" would do. That's pretty low. I suggest this Bull dog to go through behavior modification/retraining/choke chain or euthanization.

11:24 AM  
Anonymous Charis said...

So true. So entertaining. So love your shiba blog.

12:26 PM  
Anonymous Charis said...

So true. So entertaining. So love your shiba blog.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Mika said...

I have to agree with Jen (1st response): "That. Was. Awesome." But I can't figure out what I am, a Ninja or a Hunter.. I know for a fact that my little sis is a barbarian (sorry, little sis, but it's the truth!). Her will power is strong (times infinity!), she was so annoying when she tried to get my treat or toy.. she would wait there for sooooooo long just for me to leave it alone so she can get it. @.@ I'm sad to admit, but in the end, I just gave up and let her have the toy.

I don't know the history behind the pit bull, but some of my and my mommy's good dog friends are pits and they're really nice. Yeah, they do bark, but it's to get your attention. None that we know are aggressive, actually the ones we know act like labs even though they are full pit. XD

I love the points you have set up for the lab, it's so funny! (Whispers: what did you do to the lab? I won't tell anyone, I promise! I would like to have some of your ninja shiba tips for scaring the lab.)

7:57 PM  
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