I Am Shiba.

Dedicated to momentary thoughts and musings of A Shiba Inu.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

For Every Reaction,

There is an Equal and Opposite Shiba Reaction.

If one Shiba should happen to leave a deposit in That Guy's basement because there have been no perfect spots offered earlier, then the second Shiba must pee on the cat post in the same area, on the same night.

Then, if the one Shiba happens to notice that another Shiba has marked the cat post, this Shiba must also attempt to spread their perfume on the catpost while the other Shiba smells the ex-deposit spot and considers this to be a preferred deposit spot rather than going out into the rain.

If one Shiba has to go out THIS VERY SECOND, the other Shiba will follow but do nothing. The other Shiba will then request to go out THIS VERY SECOND five minutes later, followed by a Shiba that will do absolutely nothing.

If one Shiba sees a squirrel in the front of the path, the other Shiba will see a squirrel behind on the path. Both forces will pull simultaneously and then rotate around The Person holding the leashes until The Person falls from dizziness.

If one Shiba barks at something seemingly important, the other Shiba runs to check out the emergency and then does not respond because there is no emergency. If the other Shiba notices something important and barks, the same response is applied. (Please note: this does not apply to the mailman and the delivery of the mail that happens to involve both Shibas simultaneously going crazy over the same moving object and sounds).

If one Shiba consumes their food very fast, the other Shiba will chew slowly. If one Shiba eats their treat where it is given, the other Shiba must run and hide in another room to consume their treat.

If one Shiba is walking in the rain, that Shiba will notice all the flowing water in the streets and be distracted from accomplishing its daily business as moving water is a mystery. During this same walk, the other Shiba must investigate every pile of leaves in case there is a mole, mouse, shrew, chipmunk or squirrel hidden within, and come home covered in damp leaf parts while the other has mud beyond its knees.

If new items are introduced into the household, one Shiba will point out that there is change occurring while the other remains calm. That is, until the very second that the First Shiba is exhausted from addressing the change and sleeping in its crate, at which point, Second Shiba resumes to point out that there is something different in the household and carry the banner of "no one asked us if this was permitted!"

Allow it to be noted: new game machines often have noises that Shibas have never heard before. What bothers one Shiba does not bother the other, and vice versa. So in essence, you have two Shiba barking at different sounds that equates to non-stop Shiba barking at new noises coming from some part of the house although resulting from different sounds at different times.

If one Shiba learns to do something that pleases The People, that Shiba will only perform identified action at a certain time periodically to its benefit. If one Shiba learns to do something that displeases The People, said Shiba will teach the other Shiba how to perform that particular activity so that The People are never certain which Shiba did what.

In summary, for every Shiba in the household, there is a Shiba that will do exactly the opposite of the first. All responses must be 180 degree differences as at no point shall two Shibas collide. If this should happen withing your household, the resulting fur implosion will be detrimental to your carpets, furniture and clothing.

I Am Shiba. I Am A Canine Enigma.


Blogger miadog said...

Ahhh, the yin and yang, the tit for tat, the shiba...

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We have a Shiba, Willow, and she does so many of these things - especially the picky pooping spot selection techniques. She'll hold it until forever then as soon as you aren't watching, she'll poop on the floor. In a creepy circle. She slowly spins while pooping. Sometimes looks like Stonehenge.

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ummm...I'm not sure of the Shiba philosophy. Something else comes to shiba-chan's mind.
1)According to the law of physics: F=ma. For every actions, there are reactions. If you push the wall with 50lb force, the wall pushes you back with 50lb force. If you put a 5 lb watermellon on the floor, the floor actually pushs it back with 5 lb force. This is the law of equlibrium in physics. It's kinda like human psychology.

2) There is a word "amanojaku". That means people who do exact opposite of what you just to control you. Shiba-chan's mom needed to see a specialist for her neck problem of 6-years. The Amanojaku people deprived her of it just because.

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get out of my house.
Sincerely, Augusta

Thanks for the visit.
Yours, Phog Allen

Seriously, are you videotaping my home?

-their owner, Kelli

2:58 PM  

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