I Am Shiba.

Dedicated to momentary thoughts and musings of A Shiba Inu.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

CSI: Shiba

The entrance to the crime scene:

Where it happened:

The Victim:

The Alleged Guilty Party:

The Investigation:

It was a rainy day and the alleged guilty party (identified as: Shiba, Cortez) was patrolling his domain in search of a dry area for his morning constitutional. According to a witness (identified as: Woman, The), the party of questionable character was very intrigued by a pile of leaves and refused to leave the area, despite the witness's protests. According to testimony, the victim was nestled in the pile of leaves, and the alleged Shiba, Cortez found said victim (identified as: Northern Shrew, The) and immediately eliminated its life. Woman, The immediately pulled Shiba, Cortez into the house and then buried the evidence which hindered any further criminal investigation until this posting revealed the crime of question.

Did Shiba, Cortez kill the victim in self defense or was it a random act of violence that is now so common among the gangs of Shibas found throughout Northern America and the Islands of Japan?

This particular Shiba has a past criminal record of crimes against Shrews, however, there have been no prior convictions due to either lack of evidence or proven self defense as the shrews have placed themselves in threatening positions toward Shiba, Cortez. However, in this particular case, Shiba, Cortez appeared to be searching for said Northern Shrew, The and this leads said investigation to believe that the Shrew's cause of death was intentional rather than accidental or self-defense.

However, without the body, the crime is unable to move forward. If anyone has any information regarding this incident, or any similar incident regarding the criminal activities of other Shibas which may be connected to this network, please notify your local law authorities.

I Am Shiba. I Am Innocent and Want A Lawyer!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Shameless Endorsement

The friend of The Woman is having a contest. She is giving away books and a bag. Her websites are listed on my blog, and if you are interested in her contest, you need to go to her blogs (Books, Read, and Sew What?) The Woman thinks that this kind of thing is fun; I yawn with mild amusement because there is no food, no treats, and nothing involving me included in this except that The Woman is using up my blog space to advertise things like crafting and reading.

I Am Shiba. Boredom comes easily.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

How to Infect A Human

1. Find poison ivy on a hike.

2. Get it on your nice furry coat.

3. Offer yourself for pets to The Woman. Get brushed by Her. Wrestle and snuggle with her.

4. Then watch her pay out doctor's and pharmacist fees in order to get herself normal.

Initially, she was diagnosed with a fungal infection and treated with a lotion. But it appears that it can be spread to other body parts through scratching, and well, she scratched. The Woman has a definite allergic reaction to it. By the time she saw a specialist, it was infected, present on all limbs, and She was Definitely Uncomfortable.

Add to this, the Ninety + degrees with humidity, and she was more miserable than an ignored Lhasa Apso.

So this poor Alaskan Woman who hates heat and humidity, and had no clue that I would be so rude (however unintentionally!) to pass along such an uncomfortable ailment is now pulling through like a trooper, taking her antibiotics and ice baths while periodically scowling in my direction. She told me that she was perfectly happy having lived her life without ever having this affliction, and that she was unamused by this entire ordeal.

She reminds That Guy almost daily that there are no snakes, no poison ivy, and is cooler in Alaska.

However, the neat thing is that she is now home to keep me company during these Dog Days of Summer! So while I was the pathogen, I reap the benefits of all good parasites.

I Am Shiba. I Am My Own Walking Hot Zone.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

5 Things

What were you doing five years ago?
Being a bad puppy.

Five snacks I enjoy in a perfect, non-weight-gaining world:
Hamburgers, Hamburgers, Hamburgers, Hamburgers, Cheese.

Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Invest in PetSmart, buy more Greenies and squeeky toys, buy a heater and air conditioner for my seat in the car, send The Feline on a long vacation.

Five (non-academic) jobs that I have had: Security Guard, Therapist, Exercise Coach, Hunter, Shredder.

Five Habits: I scratch when it itches. I lick to keep clean. I won't poo in my own yard. I ruin other people's shrubberies. If it runs, I chase it.

Five places I have lived: New Hampshire and Connecticut.

Five people I want to get to know better (and who should consider themselves tagged!):
Winnie, Tierce, Loki, Annie, and Rusty from down the road.

I Am Shiba. I got tagged by the Blog Monster.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

I Am The Gatekeeper

Last night I was crated so that I could sleep. I had been on surveillance for almost 72 hours, and while I insisted that I could continue my duties, The People put me in my den and asked me to sleep.

Things come in three, and the last few days have been no exception. First, the air conditioner died, which caused great distress to The Women and much confusion to That Guy. The night it stopped had no solution but the next day for sleeping, The Woman opened all the doors and windows, turned on fans, and circulated the air as to keep us all comfortable. I was not crated. My doors were open. I found myself Watching. Listening. Guarding. I did not sleep but rather maintain my patrol while The Woman and That Guy slept. They had no need to worry. The Shiba was alert.

So then, there was A Man who came to the house to fix the air conditioner. The Woman was not been feeling well. She does not like the heat and humidity, and she has an infection that is affecting her ability to cope with these disagreeable temperatures. Add to this, she did not feel comfortable about A Man who came to Fix the Air Conditioner. Normally, when Workmen come, I am crated so I am relaxed. The Women emailed That Guy about her worries, he called and said "ask Cortez to help you," and out of the crate I come, on leash. I sense her discomfort, and realize that she is worried and shaky. Hence, I put myself on red alert and constantly keep myself between The Workman and The Women. At one point, he raised his arm to give her something and I actually start to lunge, not knowing that this was part of their transaction but I did not like This Guy being so close and assertive to The Woman. He made her scared, and I did not like him. True to Shiba, I never barked. I watched silently. I can read Her Body Language and His. He will not intimidate that which I protect.

After he left, The Woman collapsed and held me. That Guy came home to make sure she was okay. I remained vigilant.

The air conditioner was working once more.

The next day, there were three men in the house replacing the furnace. The Women took me outside, introduced me to the 2 boys and the One Man, allowed me to search the truck, check out what they were doing, inspect their boxes, and overall keep a periodic eye on things. If they got too loud downstairs, I barked to tell them that they were disturbing The Women. But I made sure that she was covered at every moment, and comfortable with what was happening. This day was easier than the last because she liked these guys and so, I liked these guys. The cat was crated and quiet (although I did poke my nose at her a few times) and overall, this day was better than the day before.

However, I am A Shiba. I can not rest until harmony continues within the house.

For three days, I did not sleep. Last night, I was relieved of duty, and allowed to rest in the comfort of my private abode. While I would have preferred to stay with The Woman, That Guy told me I needed a night off. He was right. I was quite tired.

I awoke this morning refreshed and ready to go.

That Guy has stated on several occasions that I belong to The Women. Actually, it is vice versa. She belongs to me. And as long as I can breathe, I shall protect her in her car, her yard, her home, and on walks.

And they both love me for this.

I Am Shiba. Sleep is for The Weak.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

From Japan to America

Mini-Me Shiba-san!

I Am Shiba. He's Kinda Cute Actually . . .

Friday, July 04, 2008

Happy 4th of July, Everyone

And, of course, it is raining.

So the barbecue shall be moved indoors. Vidalia Onions, Corn on the Cob, and Buffalo Steaks. It does not get any more American than that.

Well, I would like some Potato Salad but The Woman keeps telling us that the Potatoes are Out of Season and not good.

But there should be leftovers. This is most pleasing.

Yesterday, The Woman brought home Fireworks. I am not impressed with Fireworks. When I first moved into The House, The People took me to a Fireworks display which was loud and disturbing. Not only did the Bagpipes from the marching Scottish Band scare me out but the loud noises and whistles with the bright colors and smells were a little much. However, The People were naive back then. Now They know that Shibas are not of Chinese descent, and hence, are not interested in Fireworks. So, for their show tonight, I shall remain indoors, and try to figure out how to open the refrigerator so I can consume any leftovers.

Lately, That Guy has had the duty of walking me. His skills are improving! The Woman has been busy three nights a week with class, and she has been working hard at her summer job (although I have had the pleasure of her company most of this week, which has been nice but it has been too hot to go riding in the car! Bah!) so That Guy and I have been sharing many a night lately. Yesterday's walk, we saw many neighbors and while everyone greeted and worshiped The Shiba, That Guy explained to them that a). he was the Husband of The Woman and b). I was permitting him to take me on my evening rounds. The neighbors are most friendly. I guess after walking the same path for 4 years, the world sets its clock to the schedule of The Shiba rather than vice versa.

On a side note of the Summer Heat, I have been able to sleep outside my crate most every night. This has been nice as I have access to water and the fans. I still guard and alert The People to any noises that are outside (especially those strange 3 AM noises which I feel are Most Important for their Attention and Awareness) but I maintain my Number One Responsibility of Guarding The Woman and ensuring her safety. I know that she feels better with me being nearby in the dark. If she happens to wake up, she can just call, and I will come and comfort her.

I Am Shiba. From The Dark, I Keep the Monsters Away.