I Am Shiba.
Dedicated to momentary thoughts and musings of A Shiba Inu.
All's Quiet on the Eastern Front
It's been pretty boring around here of late from the Shiba perspective. The People have been coming and going about on their normal business, I get my periodic car rides, and for the most part, my needs have been attended to in a modest but satisfying manner.
Rumor is that The Guy is going to be home all this week, and that The Woman is going to be home for most of the week- something about a holiday.
Holiday's are good. This means lots of food. Lots of food means leftovers. Leftovers means Mashed Potatoes in my meals. Mashed Potatoes are good. So logically, a Shiba might concluded:
Holidays = Mashed Potatoes = Kibble Goodness.
Although like all good logic problems, this theory fails for the holiday of Halloween where I am banned to my crate and am forced to watch The Woman actually give away things to other people!
That is just all wrong. Wrong that this are given away freely, and wrong that there is a holiday that is celebrated sans Mashed Potatoes.
I Am Shiba. Mashed Potatoes are the life of The Holiday! They are the iron men of The Plate!
God, I am Good!
A small human being invaded our home last night, accompanied by two adults of good character. I spent most of my time being leashed or in my crate but I discovered several important facts about baby humans:
1. Their hands are often dirty with food.
2. They frequently drop food.
3. They think it is funny to throw food down on the floor for me.
The parents, of course, were complimentary of my good manners as they have no canines and do not enjoy barking. My dinner was late because of this small party but I can forgive this trespass as the leftovers were quite tasty and worth the wait.
I Am Shiba. When I Am Good, I Am Good but When I Am Bad, Life is Much More Exciting.
Today, I Am Pissed
No, not a drunken Englishman's pissed, but rather I am angry and upset by the behavior that The Woman has been displaying in the house these last three days.
Friday November 2nd
She was cleaning parts of the house and organizing things for the colder months, when she opened the back door to toss some plastic items into the recycling bin. There was a squirrel on the back porch. The sound of the items dropped in the bin scared him so he ran between her legs and into the kitchen. Of course, because I am Shiba extraordinaire and must guard The Woman at all times, was quite thrilled to see a squirrel cross my doorstep.
She screamed. The squirrel skittered to a stop and immediately hightailed it out of the kitchen and back outside, and I, of course, was in hot pursuit despite all attempts by The Woman to stop me until that darn squirrel ran into a large bush and I got caught trying to get into the bush to retrieve him.
I may weigh thirty pounds, but I can put up a good fight if I don't want to be picked up and removed from a situation, only to be placed back inside the boring house. And I am doubly irritated that I did not notice the other nine squirrels in the backyard because if I had changed directions, I quite possibly could be in Bolton right now.
Damn my persistent nature and lack of spontaneity.
Saturday November 3rd
She left the house. The Woman actually left the house in the morning and did not take me in the car with her. She left without me.
For this, she deserves a Time Out. I shall not speak to her for fifteen minutes when she decides to come home.
She also told That Guy not to let me destroy a toy. How dare she, particularly after she removed me from my squirrel!
Today, Sunday, November 4th
She is cleaning again, and this displeases me. I carefully spread my fur in all the appropriate places to help insulate the house and floors, and she insists upon removing all my hard work. Add to this, she has removed my food and water bowl, and washed the kitchen floor which means that my personal possessions have been not only touched but have been changed because both of them got washed. Now, that feline won't smell my odor on two of my most treasured items and may actually attempt to use them in my absence.
I am very disgruntled by all this activity, and the mere fact that The Woman has assumed that she can alter my world which I so carefully arrange to my liking. So for now, I am resorting to whining to express my displeasure at everything and hopefully once the kitchen floor dries and my food bowls are back, she will take pity on me and give me a Greenie.
I Am Shiba. It is Better to be Pissed Off than Pissed On.
53 Days Until Christmas
The woman is home today, doing whatever. She is like trying to do 1000 things without any rhyme or reason to anything. I think that this is a sign of the disorder in her life.
She needs to just sit down, pet me, and give me a treat (or three).
So what is it about people these days? Already there are advertisements for Christmas and I have not even yet gotten a whiff of the Thanksgiving turkey (let alone a few scraps and some mashed potatoes). Our house was repeatedly attacked by small children on Wednesday night, ringing that damned doorbell, and demanding assorted items for their amusement. I expressed my dissatisfaction about the entire Holiday, including the decorations (they murdered pumpkins for God's sake, and then threw them outside!). This resulted in my banishment to my crate until all perceived chaos was gone.
What is all this concern with holidays, and holiday celebration- and why is everyone all stressed out about them? A few greenies and a fuzzy ball are all any Shiba needs in order to make any day a worthy celebration however Humans seem preoccupied during the Fall months with making continuous holidays until finally their waistlines explode (as well as their wallets).
I think they are just depressed that the summer time is over and that winter is coming. Hence, they create all these holidays as to avoid dreary thoughts of snow and bitter chill. Avoidance techniques. It works every time for me whenever someone calls my name.
Tomorrow there is a hurricane coming so I guess we won't be engaging in consumerism. I guess also that we won't be raking all those wonderful leaves in our backyard, the ones that smell so delicious and little mice hide underneath and oh, it is just so delicious to wander around and enjoy the crunching of the leaves and smelling the squirrel droppings.
I Am Shiba. I Smell Chaos and Change.