I Am Shiba.

Dedicated to momentary thoughts and musings of A Shiba Inu.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Road Trip!

omgomgomgomgomg- its like early in the morning and the People are awake. And they put our special collars on us which means only one thing- ROAD TRIP!

(The Special collars are the ones that we wear when we are leaving the house to go beyond just a walk around the neighborhood. Usually, these collars = ride in car = something really cool is about to happen).

So, we get all excited and chase each other around the house while wearing our collars and the People are getting ready, and sure enough, we are tossed into the back of the cool car to travel in (the one we really don't get to mess up with our fur) and we hit the road.

It was a beautiful day for a car ride with lots of stops so that we can sniff and pee.

200 miles later, we find our destination which happens to involve meeting lots of really cool new people and . . .

Fried clams.

I had never met a fried clam before but it turns out that they are quite good. In fact, I would rate them within the top 5 foods- very close to cheese and hot dogs.

We were very tired for the return trip, sleeping most of the way in the well air-conditioned car while enjoying a few beams of sunlight. And this is when I hear The Woman turn to That Guy and say,

"I wonder if either of our dogs have shellfish allergies?"

Guess not, I say with a smile.

I Am Shiba. I Am Always Ready For A Road Trip.

Monday, August 23, 2010

We Are The Abused


I Am Shiba. This Is A Definite Case of the Mondays.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

A Tale of Two Bunnies

Or maybe three, depending on how you look at it?

So, the other day, we were hanging out at a house where some of The People's friends live. It was nice. They were barbecuing. The wife likes us because we are generally quiet and mellow (she is not really a canine person) and all was well with the world. It was a sunny day. There were hot dogs to be eaten.

And there was a bunny in the open area back yard.

So The Woman thinks, ah, this will be fun and unhooks Belle from chain and slowly she leads her over to where the Bunny is. Belle sees nothing for a bit, and then all of the sudden, she stops, and you can tell, she has caught the scent of the unmoving large eared rodent hiding in the spruce trees. The Woman releases and says, get it, and Belle is off like a shot - with bunny running up ahead.

Now, this plan was not entirely thought through on one major issue. In this well constructed, all houses are identical unfenced neighborhood, there are a lot of really nicely well planted flower gardens that I am sure are annuals and not perineals so they probably cost some money and plenty of time to plant.

Belle and Bunny plowed through at least three of these very exotic, well maintained flowery abysses, before heading back into the fields behind the house. Bunny dives into hole, Belle stands there asking where her Bunny went, and The Woman returns Belle back to the chain.

Fast Forward 2 hours.

Now there are two bunnies hiding in the spruce trees so The Woman thinks, aha, one for each Shiba! So she lets us loose into the field, and we catch their scent and the chase is on!

All of the sudden, I veer off to the left and run behind a house. Belle stops cold, and turns and looks at me. She barks and stamps her little feet but I have found something cooler than bunnies.

I found a soccer ball!

I Am Shiba. Priorities Are A Must.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

(Dog Trainer Version)

Pavlov: we fed the chicken on the opposite side of the road each day at 4 p.m. until the
chicken's autonomic system actually began causing the chicken to cross the road at 4 p.m. without even questioning the why.

B.F. Skinner: on prior occasions when the chicken voluntarily crossed the road, this behavior was followed immediately by a reinforcing consequence.

Cesar Milan: I bullied, chased, poked, and intimidated the chicken until it raced across the road, because I am a strong leader…

Barbara Woodhouse: You just say, Walkies with the right accent and place a crumpet on the other side of the road…

Karen Pryor (Clicker Training): by associating R+ with road crossing and P+ with standing still, with a VR schedule, and offering a reward in keeping with the Premack principle, we increased the intensity and frequency of the road crossing behavior.

Bill Koehler: a few well-timed pops on the choke chain and the chicken was happy to cross the road.

Nicholas Dodman : I gave the chicken fluoxetine, sertraline, paroxetine, carbamazepine, and azapirone and then it was happy to cross the road.

Patti Ruzzo: I crossed the road, pausing every step to spit a treat out of my mouth like a human pez dispenser and the chicken followed along catching the treats.

Victoria Stilwell: So what if the chicken crossed the road, who cares where the chicken went ... the bigger issue is do these pants make me bum look fat?

Connie Cleveland: Because chickens are problem solvers

Diane Bauman: We put turtles on the road and made sure the chicken was well proofed in crossing it between the turtles

Bobbi Anderson: I am the primary motivator for the chicken crossing the road as I am all things FUN! The chicken tried to cross back over the road. I walked up to it and said in my most shocked voice, "WHAT are YOU DOING??? I said, CROSS THE ROAD", then I acted crazy and started squealing and running around like a chicken with its head cut off and the chicken came back to me because I am FUN and interesting!

Susan Garrett: I taught the chicken a motivational tug and it happily tugged across the road

Blanche Saunders-Forward! Say heel and jerk the leash! If the chicken lags, jerk forward, if the chicken gets distracted use a series of short snappy jerks. When you get to the other side cuff him before he sits and if the chicken sits crooked cuff it again

Electric Collar Advocate: whenever the chicken does not cross the road I give it an electric shock. But do not worry, the shock is no more than you would feel if you walked on a carpet wearing socks and it does not bother the chicken at all. The feathers standing up and the smell of burning flesh mean nothing. In fact, they are happier having nice clear communication than they would be otherwise. (and we all know how much Shibas respond to shock collars!)

Purely Positive trainer: chickens are just like little people in feather jackets, and if you love them and give them diamonds and feel sorry for them all the time, they will be happy to cross the road for you.

Paris Hilton: Because I put it in a Gucci bag and carried it.

Shelter director: Any chickens that do not cross the road will be
euthanized for their own good, and the others we will adopt out tomorrow for only $200 each. Please send us money so we can keep doing more of this important work!

HSUS member: I do not know anything about
animals, I have never been around animals and am not really fond of animals, but we passed a law mandating that chickens be kept without cages because animals belong only in the wild and cannot be happy coexisting with man, so now they are walking wherever they want.

PETA member: chickens have the right to live in a world without roads. Any chicken that lives within a hundred miles of a road is suffering an inhumane existence and might eventually be hit by a car so we should kill it today to ensure that it does not die tomorrow.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Pizza Crusts

The Woman ordered Pizza today.

We are very happy.

I Am Shiba. Cheesy Pizza crusts > *.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Belle and the Pizza Delivery Guy

Pizza is one of those amazing foods that every now and then just mysteriously appears in the house. At some point, usually late in the evening, the doorbell rings and there is a stranger holding a box of this delicious smelly goodness. This is a good moment in the life of the Shiba.


Because I get to claim the Pizza Crusts. Well, I used to be able to claim all the Pizza Crusts until Belle moved in and now I have to share my minuscule amount of crunchy goodness with her.

Either it's that, or The People need to order bigger Pizzas.

So, the other day we were out patrolling our neighborhood when a car pulled up in front of us that had the word Pizza written on top of it. Heck, I did not even need to see the word Pizza, I knew that there was Pizza inside that car because I could smell the Pizza inside the car.

And so could Belle.

So out jumps the young lad and up jumps Belle attempting to grab the Pizza box from his hands. The young lad laughed as he walked to the door that was not our house and had the audacity to leave the Pizza there and not bring it to our abode.

Belle literally stood there, barking at the young lad, stamping her little feet. That was obviously our Pizza. It was in our territory. It was brought out in front of us. It was a priceless gift that was obviously to be presented to us while on our walk so that we might have a savory treat before returning home.

But such is not life.

So when the Pizza Boy came back to his car and opened the door, Belle took a moment to jump in and see if there were any other Pizzas in the car. Sadly there were not as I stood there trying to find one as The Woman was removing the Pizza-hunting Furball from the Vehicle of Ultimate Goodness.

Fortunately apologies and humor abounded while young Pizza Boy drove off into the sunset with his Pizza Carriage. Belle sat and watched until he was no longer visible on the horizon and then, snuffed a deep sigh and slowly followed us back to the house.

What was worse, was that upon arriving home, The People did not even call for the Pizza Boy to come visit us.

It was a very depressing evening for all.

I Am Shiba. I Want What I Want When I Want It.